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The trick to getting away with everything is pretty much just dressing well.

Whenever I say I’m not picking sides – duh, you know I’m lying.

FYI BEYONCÉ, I'd babysit Blue Ivy practically* for free!! (*VIP concert tix and/or one of everything from the House of Deréon)

RT if you wanna be one of Miley’s bridesmaids!!!!

So lame when I overhear ppl not talking about me

Happy Birthday, Prince William! You don’t look a day over sexy.

Spying on convos at the mall, but it’s all super boring so I guess I’ll just listen to Erin…

OMG, TomKat’s divorce came quicker than my Amazon Prime order!!!

Someday I’ll totally be that mom who fits into all her daughter’s clothes.

Having the Olympics in London is such a good idea!! I hope the winners get the crown jewels and the losers have to eat the food.

Totally think the pic of Lincoln on the 5 dollar bill should be replaced w/the Fab Five cuz they are MONEY!

So apparently stores don’t like it when u try to improve the outfits on the mannequins.

I know I have a boyfriend, but I think it’s kind of rude for my crushes to post pics with other girls.

The only things certain in life are death and Kelly Kapoor's popularity.

Can we add more Ryan Gosling to politics?

Michelle Obama is great at talking AND she wears adorable outfits. It’s like we’re the same person!!

Everyone makes mistakes, which is great cause that makes it pretty easy to blame yours on other ppl

ATTENTION DUNDER MIFFLIN: BREAKING NEWS!!! I’m moving 2 Ohio w/Ravi. I’ll miss u all almost as much as you’ll miss me ;(

.Erin Hannon If I were still on Myspace you’d be in my permanent top 8. Don’t ever change, unless it’s to be popular.

Don’t cry because it’s over, cry because u know I'm priceless. As Paula once said about being an Idol judge, no one can replace me.