I had to change my name from Miles to find a relationship because no-one wanted a long distance boyfriend! #lunchpun

I'm a Retriever #ASongOrMovieForYellow

Korma Chameleon #ASongOrMovieForYellow

Jaune of the Dead #ASongOrMovieForYellow

My wife has started playing this fun game when she's cooking where she only reveals the next ingredient we haven't got just as I get back from the shop with the previous one!

Moves Like Juggler #ASongOrMovieForCircusActs

Dedicated Swallower of Fashion #ASongOrMovieForCircusActs

If you get trapped inside a giant one of those boots that skinheads used to wear, you're in big bovver! #sillysaturday

I hope it's true that good things come to those who wait because I don't want to be working in this restaurant for ever! #sillysaturday

Despite what everyone keeps telling me, my sausage phobia isn't getting any better. I'm fearing the wurst! #sillysaturday

-Things went downhill for me after the injury involving that Charles Dickens book.
-Fell on hard times?
-No I was smacked over the head with Oliver Twist! #lunchpun

I was addicted to flipping Nissans onto their roofs so I decided to turn over a new leaf but that just made things worse! #badjokefriday

Kirsty Landfill #FamouslyGarbage

Debris Harry #FamouslyGarbage

I once ordered the chicken at Tina Turner's restaurant thinking it would be in a delicious sauce but it was simply the breast! #lunchpun

When Fat Boy Slim did my performance review at work I asked him if he could cut a few corners but he said 'No, I have to appraise you like I should'! #lunchpun

I'm not very good at telling the time but I know that when the big hand is pointing straight up Gladiators is on! #lunchpun

I dislike all of the shops in Tutbury, Present Company excepted! #Tuesdaytitters

When that deer from Didsbury did a big jump on the moon it was one giant leap for Manc hind! #tuesdaytitters

Chafing Cars #RunningInASongOrMovie