As the New Owner of the Hartford Past, the best Newspaper you know, I am expanding our Blaseball coverage. We are looking for beat writers for most blaseball teams. Serious inquires only. These stories will be published exclusively in CT in print.

*Hi Everyone! This is Gaius Pennington, I'm the new lead communications intern for the Hartford Past. Since Blaseball is on a long siesta, Hunter doesn't want to tweet anything. He's put me in charge of tweets for now. All my tweets will be starred. Ask me anything!*

Hunter Chadsworth III When asked for a photo-op, Hunter Chadsworth III responded with “What?” “No?” and “Which unpaid intern let you in here?”

Good Unpaid Interns are so hard to find these days. Dictated but not read by Hunter Chadsworth III

In case you missed Hunter Chadsworth III's Tweet You dared not to be connected to this hellscape for a day or so. You are shunned. Come back before they have to use psychological warfare on you. They'll do it too.

Negotiations broke down for Wednesday Wailings with Hunter Chadsworth III. Mr. T Badger refused to allow the opening song to be the Hartford Wailers theme song of 45 uninterrupted minutes of people in pain.

Wait...did y'all think the Boston Flowers were from Massachuestts? No, the Flowers are from Georgia. There's more than one Boston you know.

Connecticut is a state of mind. It's rigid and inflexible with a deep history of classism, bad urban planning, and ludicrous wealth. Mixed together with an educated population and vestiges of continued redlining. Finally top it off with disdain of all people. I love Connecticut.

They should have just left it at "The Flowers are, unfortunately, a blaseball team." There was no need for any more discussion. Dictated but not read by Hunter Chadsworth III

Happy Birthday Nic Winkler, I still can't believe you managed to trick the worst blaseball team into letting you play for them You are the perfect example for why the Flowers will never win the ILB. That's got to count for something. Dictated but not read by Hunter Chadsworth III

Blaseball won't really come back until they bring back the Hartford Wailers. I don't care how many crabs it has.

PSA: Do not vote for Nic Winkler for the Hall of Fame. He's isn't even an all star let alone a hall of famer. He's* a footnote of blaseball. He is bad and if you vote for him you should feel bad. *Nic Winkler existed in blaseball despite all odds.

No, this really is the end. The why of it was always this: "Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think as much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone" -Kurt Vonnegut

The 🌹The NEW Boston Flowers🌹 made me smirk. They really believe they can win the ILB Championship? Hah. They don't have what it takes and never have. It's simple. Winners, win and Flowers wilt. Dictated but not read by Hunter Chadsworth III.

Blaseball fans have become too cynical and depressed. That's my trademark. Don't make me send a cease and desist letter. I'll do it. People need to get off my corner. Dictated but not read by Hunter Chadsworth III

I have two intro songs 1. The Entertainer by Scott Joplin 2. Mysterium by Alexander Scriabin The second is only played if I'm in the Himalayas.

To those who clamor for journalistic excellence: This is the Hartford Past one final time: Hunter Chadsworth III would like to remind you all that the Boston Flowers never won a ILB Series. To the bitter end I was right. Dictated but not read by Hunter Chadsworth III.

What would Nic Winkler think of you today?