On my illegal TV feed saving myself a deep sea fiver on the West Ham App. Sorry, you've had enough money out of me over the years.

Whenever people try to claim that ‘graffiti isn’t real art’, I show them this:

Beige shirts. Beige football. Big Ange out. Season over.

All hail the new Wimbledon women's graded squash champion, Laura Northeast She'd like to thank all her hitting partners, coaches and friends. Unfortunately she is pissed and cannot string a sentence together. Well done, Northers.

You should probably mention that you’ve already tried and failed to negotiate a ‘returns agreement’ before fibbing about someone else’s plan to try to negotiate a ‘returns agreement’. Otherwise, it looks like you think your followers are ignorant. Cheers!

Britain is currently chock-a-block with failed ex-politicians - Liz Truss, Theresa May, Matt Hancock, Iain Duncan Smith, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Boris Johnson - telling how to fix everything that they mysteriously failed to fix when they were in power. bloomberg.com/opinion/articl…

Today’s Tory party conference schedule: Steve Barclay - dodging questions about HS2 Michelle Donelan - dodging questions about HS2 Michael Gove - dodging questions about HS2 Suella Braverman - hitting a sack of kittens with a baseball bat / dodging questions about HS2

HORTERS Ahhh thank you so much HORTERS so kind of you to mention thank you 🙏🏼💚✨

My pleasure. x

Good to see the ladies doing the heavy lifting there.

If only Starmer had chinned him. His stock with the British public would have soared. #JohnPrescott

Last throw of the dice for the doomed Rishi. Too little too late

You know West Ham have had a bad weekend when your car gets broken into and they nick your David Lloyd and RHS Membership cards and leave your Hammers scarf.

He is such a bad politician. Petulant. Hates scrutiny. Oozes irritation and superiority. But above all doesn’t do the work and doesn’t think through the consequences of decisions. And we keep being told by the client journos he is the great detail guy.

HORTERS Laura Northeast

Not only is this banned from TV but we're not even allowed to use it as promoted ads on social media. It's all down to you lot reposting it. I'm slowly destroying my own company for a laugh😂

Happy St. George's Day! Today is a day to celebrate with friends, family and all those who call England their home. Let's come together in unity and pride, honouring the patron saint of England and celebrating everything that makes this country so special. #StGeorgesDay

Never forget. Vote them out.

Tesla Gigafactory, Berlin (In collaboration with Zentrum für Politische Schönheit)

create a graphic of the world's toughest windows