O men of Athens, this is straight off the dome,

94 mutuals follow this account…yikes

An evil, evil man

Big Pharma doesn’t want the public to know about the health benefits of being nice to me

I’m going to sleep now. Hopefully I have that dream again. The one where everything is alright and I can smile. For once. But I’ll most likely dream about being mauled by a grizzly bear or something

My wife hasn’t touched me since I lost the respect of the meme community

I’m 24 man I need to grow up and start scheming. I need to rub my hands together like “yes… yes…” I’m 24 and I don’t have any dastardly plots

my future kids: You've spent how much time online??? That's so awesome, you're so freaking awesome dad

Location: My Bedroom

Mission: Survive

Your favorite meme lords favorite meme lo- *so many bullets slice through me like a knife through soft, warm cheese*

Friday night
open.spotify.com/track/0qIJPc8E…

pacing in my room, listening to Lose Yourself by Eminem. I’m about to confront my psychiatrist for treating me like a damn freak

im sick and tired of yielding to oncoming traffic

I hope folks who were wary or skeptical of the summer 2020 demand to defund police now understand that police are simply the connective tissue for the state’s ability to actualize repression—not the magical municipal department that would save us all from “crime.”

I'll be in a conversation with someone and just start taking damage like *flashes red* Oo *flashes red* Oo

My dog, self described “man’s best friend”, is trying to ruin my life

When I’m outside nobody is safe

nothing bad ever happens when I’m under my blankie. I am assured of this