Emil Eshaya (@emilcomedy) 's Twitter Profile
Emil Eshaya

@emilcomedy

ID: 1584407470931292160

calendar_today24-10-2022 04:52:58

30 Tweet

11 Followers

117 Following

Emil Eshaya (@emilcomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Legoland is kid Vegas. They’ve got all the same stuff. Replicas of buildings, buffets, assholes. Just smaller versions of each thing.

Emil Eshaya (@emilcomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

“I’m gonna get on both the nice and naughty lists so Santa doesn’t know what to do.” -My 5-year-old son, a weirdo

Emil Eshaya (@emilcomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I had to run into Target for some last minute Christmas things. Everyone kept assuming I worked there. I finally asked a guy “Is it because I’m wearing a red polo?” He said “Naw. It’s because your eyes are sad.”

Sam Morril (@sammorril) 's Twitter Profile Photo

You spend all this time building a following on these apps and they keep moving the goal post in. An inoffensive joke pulled for “bullying and harassment.” Bullshit apps that get rich off of our free content then act like hall monitors.

You spend all this time building a following on these apps and they keep moving the goal post in. An  inoffensive joke pulled for “bullying and harassment.” Bullshit apps that get rich off of our free content then act like hall monitors.
Paul Virzi (@paulvirzi) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Remember when TV wasn’t political and everyone kept that shit to themselves? That was when people were not as divided and could actually put that stuff aside. Now you go to a major network and they basically are political argument shows. Enough. Everybody needs to chill!

mark normand (@marknorm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Tom Brady was the covid of football - he’s thriving in Florida, he’s put up huge numbers & some people never believed in him

Tom Brady was the covid of football - he’s thriving in Florida, he’s put up huge numbers & some people never believed in him
Kurt Metzger (@kurtmetzger) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My God, first the Chinese use Tik Tok to weaponize the queerness of our own children against us, then they come at us with balloons?! Wait, is this just a surprise party am I reading this wrong?

Emil Eshaya (@emilcomedy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Do I think China was spying on us long before any balloons? Probably Do I think that there’s a chance it’s not even Chinese and everyone’s a liar and it’s some sort of conspiracy?Possibly Do I feel better when something I don’t understand gets shot down with a rocket? Always

eddie pepitone (@eddiepepitone) 's Twitter Profile Photo

As the rain batters an already depressed Los Angeles population and the flooding and chaos ensue I enjoy watching the people who have children struggle to pick them up from school. Long lines of cars in floods while i sip my coffee childless and free. Namaste.

Tim Dillon (@timjdillon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I spent 17K on Taylor Swift tickets and I gave them to a homeless family. They’re now asking me how to get to the concert and if there will be food. I’m a little sick of people not appreciating what they have.