“Bosun, remind me how the Romans wrote the number two”
“Aye aye Captain”
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“Well?”

My dad has beers with his buddies each Wednesday and makes a list of things to talk about beforehand and it is the cutest thing in the world!

I have a name.

Would this didn’t.

Just taken 93yo mum to vote, she’s registered dead. In a very loud voice she said, “I’m registered dead.” A cheer went up from waiting blowflies.

The Shitman and Her

After he halved the elderly population of East Manchester?

“A lady on this street”

I accidentally sat on a packet of cheddars today and heard my 4 year old niece say 'oh no, my cheds' faintly from across the room

Chuffed to the gills to be contributing to the new series of Dead Ringers. Episode 1 (a belter) is here 👇🏻

Dead Ringers - Series 24 - Episode 1 - Episode 1 - BBC Sounds bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0…

What is the charge? Eating a chair? A succulent society chair?

“Der’s more to Ireland dan dis”.

During their prime, Black Sabbath was operating on a mental level that had never before been seen in history, and has never been seen since

If blocking a Welcome Break toilet had a face.

Captain Tom, Kai Rooney dressed as Captain Tom, Captain Tom Spa Complex, Demolition of Captain Tom Spa Complex

The death of Amenhotep III.

This is tomorrow night in Walthamstow with Joel Morris & Ben Willbond and it will be an absolute hoot and also comedy nerd heaven. Handful of tickets left if you’re quick. eventbrite.com/e/be-funny-or-…