jokes on david every chord I play pleases the Lord

Don't take pictures during the movie with the flash on. Don't take pictures during the movie with the flash off. Don't even touch your phone during the movie. Just - just don't. PSA over.

just made myself laugh imagining a Cake “The Distance” needle drop in the middle of Oppenheimer

christopher nolan took one look at jack quaid and said that man needs to play the bongos

Underrated line from Greta Gerwig's Little Women

Women are always late, that's why they're called laties.

Barbie and Oppenheimer. Well all I can say is the “Bar” better “bie” “Oppen” so I can say “hei” to a few “mer” ice cold beers!

all summer

good morning i just saw this photo of bob dylan and joan baez for the first time and i am now bedridden for at least 3 days

America was such bitch on Friday and now expects us to attend her birthday party on Tuesday? I don't think so, sweetie.

Abortion bans not killing women fast enough.

my student loan providers could be gay therefore i refuse to give them my business

'look no further, you are kenough' 😭😭 ryan gosling you're a godsend

10 years in the writing, I talked with sean clements and Hayes Davenport about their podcast Hollywood Handbook - one of the great true impossible-to-explainers in modern comedy - for Vulture
vulture.com/article/hollyw…

10 am-12 pm bottomless mimosas
12:30pm Oppenheimer
4-6pm ungodly amount of Olive Garden unlimited breadsticks, 4 bottles of red wine, and shrimp alfredo
7pm Barbie
10 pm- 2 am existential reflection and discussion with the boys over beers

The master

once again I implore you all to see a Barbie matinee, have a dinner with your friends like a normal person, and then see this sicko shit once the sun has gone down

stabbed right through the heart