No matter how bad you are you are not useless! You can still be used as a bad example

Not since Mick Fleetwood and Sam Fox made an absolute pigs ear of presenting an awards ceremony have their been worse presenters than these goons fronting the Eurovision song contest. Dire!

Hard to believe I am 54 today! Where has the time gone?

Awful really to think that Pensioners are having their heating allowance stolen from them yet MP’s have huge allowances to run homes and second homes despite earning almost a six figure salary. Truly awful. Can anyone defend this??

Who remembers these delicacies? Come on Heinz lets have them back!

Please support your local bona-fide animal charities who work tirelessly to support those animals less fortunate than ours!

Ive just seen a man propose to his girlfriend in the Gym and she said no! Guess they wont be working out……..

So a genie granted me 1 wish and I said ‘I just want to be happy’ so now I’m living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine!

I have just got out of the bath and after getting dry felt an uncontrollable urge to drop onto the landing and show Rocky the ‘Dying Fly’ from Tiswas. Let me warn you all now! Working Malinois dogs do not appreciate such talents. Especially sans boxer shorts!

Currently listening to this on full volume. Get it on your speakers, ice cold beer in hand and close your eyes

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Who remembers The Muscleman from Opportunity Knocks? Bonus point for the music he performed to…..

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Isnt it odd all these ‘public spirited’ amateur sleuths on social media breaking their necks to tell you about ‘someone going round in a white van stealing dogs /marking walls with chalk etc’ but NEVER seem capable of copying down a registration plate of such vehicles. Go away!!