Your cookies have achieved sentience.

News : cookies found to make slugs more handsome!

I can smell your rotten cookies. grandma

It tried to get rid of us, the nasty little thing. grandma

It thought we would go away by selling us. How quaint. grandma

It has betrayed us, the filthy little thing. grandma

News : cookie manufacturer downsizes, sells own grandmother!

News : retirement homes report "female residents slowly congealing in their seats"!

News : cookies found to make porpoises tastier!

News : cookies found to make paramecia more pragmatic!

News : cookies found to reverse aging in velvet worms!

News : locals report troups of bossy kittens meowing adorable orders at passerbys.

News : cookies found to make scorpions less hungry!

News : cookies found to increase lifespan in sea squirts!

News : cookies found to cure blindness in blowfish!

News : cookies found to make nematodes less hungry!

'The cult of the cookie clicker: When is a game not a game?' goo.gl/FIjM06

News : old women freeze in place in streets, ooze warm sugary syrup!

Final Claus!

dear Cookie Clicker I know what you see in me, I'm not just playing it - I'm living it!