Pendulums don't swing back harder. That's Newton's first law. It's like no one has ever even seen a pendulum before.

Politics were never boring. They just never affected you this much before.

Trump's about to lose more friends than I did in middle school.

Chess is cool again. Quick, somebody marry me before I lapse back into obscurity.

Don't smile because its over, cry because it happened.

Tom & Jerry is the reason why your grandparents are racist.

Sometimes I'm not sad. Sometimes I watch videos of Grandmas eating Pop Rocks at 4 am.

Bruno Mars isn't Black. Enrique Iglesias isn't Latino. Santa Claus isn't real. They're all Filipino. You're welcome. You can live your life now.

One day I will be good at atleast one thing, and then people will still remember how bad I used to be at everything. #WednesdayMotivation

#ThoughtsAndPrayers to everyone who couldn't finish their two liter of Sprite in one sitting and are now left with a bottle of bitter water.

MINNEAPOLIS. Two chances to see me headline The Comedy Corner Underground this weekend. All toes welcome. Feature set from Comrade Tripp + special guests!

Had a nightmare that books started putting in ads between the chapters. Woke up relieved because I haven't read a book in 7 years.

Garlic Aoili is just Big Mac sauce. Mayonnaise and lies.

I will never post here more than once a month. That's my promise to you.

If you are reading this, it means you can read. Making you more capable than the 33% of the world. And between iliteracy, dyslexia, and near-sightedness, all written language is technically ableist language. If you can read this, check your privilege and my spelling.

March Magics continues (sorry) into April! We sit down with comedian and TikTok star Comrade Tripp to talk Pokémon. It's a Pokémon Tournament now, folks. Watch on YouTube: youtu.be/Dy3fduH5Fnk The Semi-finals of March Magics 2023 start now, so check the thread below 🏀🧵👇

I have acrophobia, agoraphobia, and bathophobia. I'm afraid of heights, widths, and depths. I experience fear in stunning 3D.

🅼🅸🅽🅽🅴🅰🅿🅾🅻🅸🆂 Thursday, June 15th @ HUGE Improv Theater (HUGE Theater) w/ Comrade Tripp

I don’t personally know Myah Goff yet but she did a fantastic feature about the rise of comedians of color for the Sahan Journal that everyone should read! Aben. @AronWolde Comrade Tripp Alicia Kismet Eler sahanjournal.com/culture-commun…