Once I put my pud on a Tesla battery. I’m very stupid. #IamactuallyElonMusk #forreal #notparody

This was right after I swallowed a barrel. It was good. I exploit workers. #IamElonMusk #notparody #Ireallysuck #barreleaterforlife

Hey Senator Ted Cruz remember when we kissed? It was a revelation. I can’t stop thinking about when you spat in my mouth and I tweeked your nips #IamElonMusk #wesmooched #TheRealElonMusk

Somehow I convinced everyone that I’m super smart, but actually I’m dumb as a box of rocks. Also I’m just a bunch of moldy oatmeal poured into a skin suit. I’m the worst. #IamElonMusk #notparody #itstherealElon

Hey remember that time I accused that guy of being a child molester because he didn’t want to use my shitty design for a submarine to rescue those trapped kids? I don’t know why people defend my dumb ass. #IamElonMusk #itsreallyElon #Isuck

I’m going to take my dumpster ass and clap these cheeks until Twitter is obliterated #IamElonMusk #therealElonMusk

Hey Marjorie Taylor Greene you might want to take a look at your stank ass life before you start saying anything about anyone else you piece of lizard shit. Doesn’t the Bible have some strong words about adultery? I hope you eat shit and live

World pancake champion #NeverForget #looseygoosey #suckthatneckskin #chode