Imagine being in the casino and betting $10 on a hand of blackjack. You got 19 & The dealer is showing three, so you say “fck it” and double down with your entire life savings. The dealer flips at 10 takes a hit, gets an 8 & hits 21. Imagine as the dealer smirks, you look across…

Listening to the new Iron & Wine at the gym. #FitnessJourney #musclegrowth #ALPHA

before headlining a comedy show, sometimes the producer will ask 'how long a set would you like to do? 45 minutes? an hour? something else?'

and my response to that question is 'can i let you know the answer about 30 seconds after i've started?'

I’m no longer sorry. This is actually the only good thing I’ve ever made.

'In my youth I considered myself a progressive but now I've grown old & find myself surrounded by young people who are more progressive than me & who criticize me. This is a national crisis.' -- every version of this piece is more pathetic than the last but they just keep coming

A Dan Cronin classic!

A LOT of comics need to watch and absorb this part of the conan hot ones

(gasp) It's here!

NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS #54, featuring new tunes by Jane Weaver 𝙴𝚍 𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝 elbow Iggy and Bowie on Dinah Shore and the Head vs. Groin matrix!

newmusicforolds.substack.com/p/new-music-fo…

Has anyone done a longread on Iggy/Bowie on Dinah Shore? Because I would longread it.

youtube.com/watch?v=i2eB8f…

This website is so fucking cooked

OJ was obviously a villain, but let’s not forget the great work he did on behalf of the road hack community.

Yeah adorable. Kid in the red cost me $7k.

The worst thing about all these P*U*S*S*Y*I*N*B*I*O tweets is now I have to change my bank password.

mel gibson losing it at the eclipse

Tonight at Q.E.D., I’ll be debuting a joke that’s going to turn everything around for me. You can say you were there! 7:30pm, folks.

qedastoria.com/products/qed-p…

I got 3 body problems but a bitch ain’t one? Is that anything?

From Day 1, baby. #knicks