Just bumped into Robbie Keane in a tattoo parlour in London, getting his LA Galaxy tat.

Hearts join Rangers on HMRC naughty step RE: unpaid tax. Taxman conspiracy afoot? The BNP must be shitting themselves.

Rumours that Brad Pitt is in Glasgow today. Neil Lennon contemplating offering him a trial apparently.

Interesting to see how Celtic get on tonight after a nervy start against St Mirren. Barely got a touch for the first three minutes.

Rumour going about that Rangers players win bonuses are late, none have been paid since October. About 600 quid owed out apparently.

Deal or No Deal is fifteen minutes of actual stuff, stretched out to an hour. Like Sportscene.

Rangers v Linfield in Belfast tomorrow. Prepare for one of the most modern, liberal-minded, avant-garde football atmospheres ever witnessed.

Philosophical question: when Ortiz tries to skin Whittaker in training, how does the universe decide which one should fail?

Duncan Bannatyne being sounded out for chief of negotiations role at Ibrox apparently. More to follow.

Bloody hell, that's Joey Barton and David Goodwillie both trending UK-wide. Marlon King will be spitting feathers.

Congrats to Rangers for progressing to the Europa League final qualifying round. Celtic thrashed though in Wales.

Paranoid Celtic fan there obviously licking his wounds from the old firm losing out on Goodwillie.

Quite a backlash I'm getting tonight from Celtic fans, must be nervous. They've already slipped a point behind in the title race after all.

Chick Young. Here's 1 you wont retweet chic,,quote from Australia, Comical Ally,More chins than wins. Hahaha

Chick Young as expected you are leading the #laptoployal defence of #fatpaulleguen