Maybe he does, you don’t know, he’s a very talented frog 😭

Someone from Piers Morgan's staff asked if I would like to come onto Pier's show, Piers Morgan Uncensored, to talk about the state of his attire. Since he invited feedback, I thought I'd do a thread comparing his style to menswear icon Kermit the Frog. 🧵

Why are people saying she didn't take a shower/just has dry skin. Have none of you been to the ocean before

Please be fake please be fake please be fake oh my god

how are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby

I am starting to feel similarly about third places discourse as I do whenever ppl insist that the country used to be safer than it is now. Based in nostalgia not fact.

Lifting weights is shaping up to be extreme exposure therapy for a wide range of deep issues that I’ve struggled with since childhood and that’s fine but I would greatly like to complete the therapy part please 🙏

Is there a new car wash on every corner everywhere or is that just where I live. Why. What are these a front for.

The amount of times I have defied physics to hold the door shut with my hand or foot the entire time bc the lock barely works 😭

Sometimes I see women wearing the weird clothing items I get social media ads for and I’m like “ah they gotcha, huh?”

It's been so entertaining to me to see lots of far right ppl act like there's no difference between k*lling a dog and k*lling livestock. They sound like they're ready to join PETA, someone should jump on that.

try as we might no leftist shitposter cooks as hard as a gen x resist lib who's made it their personal mission to cyberbully some gop gremlin until they lose the will to live

I occasionally write some FF stories.

Used the phrase “I would rather stand next to a gravel pit with Kristi Noem than do that” and got the reaction I wanted, I’m back baby

Noem’s point about the dog and goat is “I can make the tough decisions” and I once read a theory that that’s why sociopaths exists and that’s all I can think about now. She’s like “I’m great at politics bc I’m a sociopath” with her whole chest

fascist: it’s so funny when protesters are beaten by the police
leftist: (bravely) it’s so funny when WHITE protesters are beaten by the police

Referred to myself as a “muscle mommy” to get a rise out of my husband and he rolled his eyes and was like “you’ve said that before” men, the meanest thing you can do to your wife is inform her that her material is getting stale I may never recover