Me when the bartender hands me my 7th Michelob Ultra

I’m a 31yo guy with no kids, so all of them really

When I was a kid they said W. was the president you wanted to have a beer with. Kamala Harris is two muscle relaxants, half a Xanax, & a really big glass of wine. It would be a good hang at first.

Shut it all down

In Nashville I can get a Woodford & stack of pancakes at 5am. This is why had to fight in 1776.

Some moms do this weird thing with their older sons, usually around 17-22, where they start projecting & treating him like a potential “bad man”. Very odd, but I’ve seen it a lot. It’s even worse when dad sucked & kid’s the spitting image of him.

About 10% of American high schoolers should be sent to a place in Wyoming called something like “Camp Hardship Wilderness Military Academy”.

Some things are doable for goofy NYC & SF art people. Normies in Missouri are doing it now though & torpedoing their, and their kids lives.

Normalize admitting you don’t have a dog in some fights

It’s called cocaine.

-The Lion King -Hell or High Water -L.A. Confidential -Dazed & Confused -The Godfather Part II

If I was a cop, I’d be the one who hooked his thumbs in the vest while chewing gum & calming down the bystanders.

At a gas station/bbq restaurant in rural Tennessee dressed like myself with immaculate hair, and every good ole boy in here is glaring at me. They don’t know I’m spiritually one of them.

Look 25-27 is varsity & played for keeps. Gotta have some JV experience to capitalize well.

Jeep should stop with the Wagoneer & Gladiator. The pickup & Suburban isn’t their thing. Just keep making Wranglers for nurses who kiss their pitbull on the mouth.

I need to jump on gear for a month or two, rent an Airbnb & super nice car for a week, get some pictures done & start selling life coach courses on here.

I have an immediate distrust for “Everyone from my redneck high school sucked” people. Maybe you were annoying & thought you were too cool for basketball games.