One day you’re young and carefree and the next you hurt yourself sneezing

Me whenever I leave a yelp review

Have you noticed every professional clap-back email is just:

Am I the voice of a generation? No. But also, yes

NO ONE is busier than a girl about to go on a beach vacation

Millennials don’t have healthcare but we do have these bad boys

Looking at the Spirit Airlines check-in line from Delta Priority

Home is where your makeup mirror is

1st year married: wow I can’t believe I get to have a sleep over with my best friend every night for the rest of my life 🥰

3rd year married: you were breathing on my side of the bed again and it needs to stop

I’m about to start trying for a baby, but a little embarrassed that people might judge me for this teen pregnancy
- me at 35

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bot…

Fighting for my life!!!! Said the girl trying to get out of her cozy bed in the morning

Why am I so slow today? Asked the girl who ate 7 different kinds of cheese yesterday

Is it possible to have a food hangover?

Nothing will make you question who you are faster than reading you’re own professional email

Your honor, I thought it was funny

Saddened to report that no one comes along and figures it out for you

One day you’re young and care free and the next you’re checking to see if we’re all aligned

I am genuinely not ok with what things cost these days. $125 for plain grey sweatpants? Get me out of here

I be feelin reallllll confident until I have to back into a parking space

My toxic trait is I can’t stop spending money