My mom took Tylenol when she was pregnant with me which explains why I love industrial music.

When I go grocery shopping, I Lock in so hard and fast that I actually become Gary Groceries, the king of getting groceries

you're not weirding me out, you're weirding me in keep going

Pretty much

Roses are red, Farage is obscene, Labour are spineless and I’m voting green 💚

this is exactly what i would say if i ran a colored pencil shop for 30 years and i had no idea where each one of the thousands of pencils was

there has been a british voice in my head saying “bit sad innit” for the past few weeks.

there are so many instances of archeologists puzzling over particularly confusing artifacts which were made by some guy doing pretty much this

yeah sex is cool but what about when you’re cutting wrapping paper and it goes ——— instead of ~~~~~

I'll call it X when Elon calls his daughter Vivian

forget cottagecore. i want cottagegore. i want to rot down amongst the moss and mushrooms with the eldritch horrors and grow moss between my ribs and become the thing in the forest that they warn you about

people who know random things are so platonically attractive to me like yes let me be your best friend tell me about the history of shampoo

fumbling a pure lover girl leaving her confused anxious and sad is gonna be the reason for your baldness btw

“yeah it was good thanks. quiet one. feels good to get back to some normality if im honest haha”

one day i’m gonna look back on my heated rivalry era & be sooo embarrassed

A sexual fantasy of mine is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me