Dunking on trans people is some lazy-ass shit. Live your life and let them live theirs and whatnot.

I feel like I’m addition to teaching him how to be a great two-way wing, kawhi also taught this guy how to be a charmingly bizarre enigma of a man

CAVEAT See the great Uncle Semitism on the Abolish Everything stage TONIGHT! Promo code: abolishadam Tix: caveat.nyc/events/abolish…

Just because someone has a British accent… it does not make them smart

When I was in 5th grade, my Hebrew school had a talent show. I learned how to play Wonderwall on the guitar, but was too nervous/embarrassed to sing and play guitar at the same time. So instead I rapped/sang this entire song with no musical accompaniment

First Phoebe bridgers, now Gracie Abrams. This man is living my dream of just hopping from one bisexual singer-songwriter to the next

I read this to the tune of wrecking ball by Miley Cyrus

Telling my kids this is Hillary Clinton and AOC

Me trying to fuck Ms. Pac-Man: so is there a Mr. Pac-Man?

This is so cool! I wish my coworkers made 42 million a year

Can’t believe he still Benny Feldman hat

Two black women presidents committing genocide?

He’s the coolest man alive

A president who openly admires Adolph Hitler is a greater threat to our Jewish community than undergrad protestors, and our mainstream Jewish institutions should act like it.

That’s great because they teach five year olds

A strategic masterstroke. A big campaign stunt in a state you’ll lose by a million, just to spend time with Long Island’s loudest morons and one of the least respected unfunny Austin comics.

I hate straight Halloween wdym you’re fratatouille

The Costco guys are beefing??

He was in like 3 episodes of the office. That show is pretty good.

Watching election coverage is like watching the Super Bowl, if you could only watch people talk about the Super Bowl and the winner of the Super Bowl dictates who can get abortions.