Could I just say I'm very much prepared to go to Kigali on these terms?
If the govt pay my fare there, and Rwanda deport me back, that should be £3K for about 24 hours, which is considerably better money than most comedy clubs are paying at the moment.

I suppose the good thing is he will be a changed man who has seen the error of his ways and will take responsibility for his actions from now on.

Wyckoff_ape Cleo The Woke🍊🍊 Janey Godley Really? This your ‘research’ too? Every batsh*t conspiracy theory for lonely, embittered little men n your otherwise empty head.
‘Illegals’✅
‘Great Replacement’✅
‘Anti-vax’✅
‘Climate hoax’✅
And Andrew f*cking Tate.✅

But yeah. Bet you’ve chatted with LOADS of Africans.

So we are agreed that both emigrated for economic reasons.👍
Where we probably disagree is I don’t believe white people are inherently superior to black people, or in idiotic tin-hatted Great Replacement theories an angry three year old could see through, you dumb racist phuck.

On Times Radio at 5:30 with two of my favourite laydeez…

Ok. So how did I miss this delightfully Presidential detail???

If in 1986 you’d told the boy rewinding ‘Weird Science’ the second it finished just so he could watch it all over again, that he would start every day in 2024 blocking computer generated women, I’m not entirely sure he would have believed you.

I'll be at Bristolcomedyclub tomorrow night, after a stint with the ever marvellous Ayesha Hazarika on Times Radio. I probably won't do this joke.

Three days *before* he gets stuffed in the local elections? I'm not doubting the veracity of Russ Jones's sources, but that would be the worst possible way to start an election campaign imaginable.
It's a terrible idea.
So, considering this is Sunak, I'm off to the bookies.

Excellent. Managed to leave my book on ADHD on the plane. 👍

Really says something when the last remaining chance for American democracy, its justice system and the future of the republic is desperately hoping the porn star case comes off.

The Supreme Court of the United States is literally deciding today whether Donald Trump can legally have them all executed on January 20, 2025, and the upshot I get from major media updates from inside the courtroom is that they are taking a serious look at it

America is over

How utterly f*cked is this country? ‘A national failure of eGates’. This is London Stansted Airport. And the chances of me getting to work tonight, despite landing five hours before my gig, are looking slim. But yeah. Let’s send 300 people to Rwanda.

Should have known really. All the other accounts promised to help.

Little bit of #topicalcomedy for you from #Athens last night. If you know, you know. 😊
🏜️💨🇬🇷
#sahara #dust #dust cloud #Greece

Definitely getting old. Not only is this the first time I’ve never heard of a Glastonbury headliner, I don’t even know how to pronounce her name.