Dear DC Comics suck my dick you fucktards. #superkidstatue

Hey L.A. Beast how's about a reaper squeezins enema challenge

Hey Barack Obama please ban the ice water bucket challenge. These idiots are wasting water.

Eating the Carolina reaper.: youtu.be/yMCYmpgP90c yep. I did it.

Music Center lets you view your music library from the lockscreen or inside any app on your iPhone, iPod or iPad! itunes.apple.com/app/id941041243

Music Center lets you view your music library from the lockscreen or inside any app on your iOS Device! itunes.apple.com/app/id941041243

I couldn't live without the faster processors that are in mobile devices nowadays. #InventForBetter

Hey Apple Official App Store and pretty much everything else is down right now. You need to come clean and announce the outage.

@sprint you have wifi calling because your signal has terrible building penetration

Hey Frito-Lay think you can be anymore wasteful. This box is way to big for 6 bags. #saveatree

Vacaville fire. #illegalfireworks #breakingnews #fire #vacaville

There are actual idiots wiping their bare asses with the American flag. They put it on the net thinking they're cool. #asswipe #flag

@sprint why is my data messed up in Sacramento

Hey Del Taco I #crunchtada with the hottest peppers in the world. #carolinareaper #ghostpeppers

America became the laughing stock of the world when folks in media, business & government successfully dumped replays of the #DukesOfHazard.

Hey L.A. Beast can i get a happy birthday tweet from the beast

I’m in! Ready to make #email smart with #AI technology. Trove AI #loveemail notion.ai

We want #BoatyMcBoatface

Hey Sharon Osbourne. Now that your single, can i apply to be your boytoy?