Patient: “The meds they gave me aren’t working, I want to go back to the hospital!” Me: you’ve taken one dose of antibiotics 😐…

Idk who needs to hear this, but maybe no one respects you because you’re a miserable F***kin bitch… NOT because you’re a female in EMS

I’ve run a lot of BLS calls today… the L was silent…

You ever see people in Wal Mart and think … “ I bet I know exactly what their house smells like”?

I’ve started calling firefighters “water truck drivers”, and their reactions are priceless.

You should have to pass an “I’m not awkward as fuck” test prior to being allowed to work on an ambulance with someone for 12 hours.

After two beautiful years of supplying you with memes, and dropping your girlfriends panties… the time has come. We are deleting the account. I need to focus on real life and things that matter. I will miss all of you. <3 -6

I’m not proud of the person I become when the EMS room is fully stocked with free snacks…

Happy over paid, over appreciated butt wiper week to all the doctor helpers out there!

I wonder if there’s a frequent flyer out there thinking about me too…

Once she reaches the last level of her hoe phase, she enrolls in nursing school.

Happy single Mother’s Day to all the CNA’s that no one wanted to settle down with. And all the strong independent RN’s that don’t need no man! Ayden and Jayden are proud!

I know god said “All Men are created equal” … but he clearly hasn’t seen some of my frequent flyers…

I’m going to get a drink while that’s still legal for me to do.

You have more rights when you call 911 for toe pain than if you were raped.

I once got a call for a homeless guy that wanted a ride to the ER for a sandwich. See… we were at a good post, and I had just paid for food that we had to ditch. I traded him half a bag of plain almonds, a bag of hospital chips and a half drank coke in return for a signed ama.

I’m gonna start getting my coworkers “Get better soon” balloons. Not because they’re sick, but because they need to do better…

For someone who doesn’t like people very much… I find it odd that I picked a career solely based on helping people…

Me after checking on Twitter that Meta is just down and I'm not hacked since my Instagram isn’t loading and my Facebook got "session logged out”. 😂 #facebookdown #instagramdown #meta

Blowing all of our stickers out. Stickers as low as .25 cents. Hit calloffwork.com to grab em