your honor my client was geeked

i have decided to develop a gluten allergy to piss off my most hated waiters

What is this cringey orange stuff coming out of my laundry machine? Smells really hot

Pinocchio was a grower not a shower send tweet

spooky season 👻

Average help desk user filling out a ticket the wrong way

You ever have a couple of drinks and think to yourself, “god damn, I feel like operating some machinery right now”

Just over here manifesting ✨✨✨

Sensory deprivation cars news

Lunch is over. On my way back to work

Ladies and gentlemen… we got him

Me coming up with new ways to be annoying 😈

Okay, so there’s yesterday and yesteryear but no yestermonth or even yesterweek? I’m going to write a letter to my congressman about this

😫😩💦

I’ve have covid 🤒

Goku could encounter a monster who announces that it just wants to molest children and he’d still be like “Alright, Gohan, you’ve got this!”

in real life yoda would get eaten by a dog

When are the people on Jurassic Park Earth going to stop building Jurassic Parks? I mean, they’ve got a 100% rate of failure. Who’s funding these?