What my PCs could have done: Help a struggling lycanthrope deal with his changes Befriend a helpful dryad Escort refugees to a safe haven island What they did do: Release a centuries old demon Torture a pirate who surrendered Piss on corpses #dnd #ttrpg #TheMightyClintons

Highlights of this week’s session Tizbit breaks wildshape by flying into a wall Kyrie panics as he takes a job from the thieves guild for the first time Chebo threatens a zookeeper and gets everyone kicked out Rayek caws loudly to lure a child #dnd #ttrpg #TheMightyClintons

Terrible DM advice Players aware of mimics? Try decoy mimics. Player sees the treasure chest breathe? Smashes it to bits. While they examine the splintered remains, the bookshelf sneaks behind them. Decoy Mimics #dnd #ttrpg #TerribleDMAdvice

Highlights of helping my wife make her first D&D character: “I want to cause fear.” “Can my crows rob people?” “Ooo, this list has Alanis as an elf name! *starts singing*” “I want Fog Cloud. I don’t care what it does.” #dnd5e #ttrpg #ChristmasOneShot #TheCrowsHaveCrits

DM advice Be careful when saying something appears to be as it is. This can lead to stalled progress when your players spend hours trying to intimidate or insight check the door you said “appears to be normal”. #Dnd5e #ttrpg #ISlipTheDoorTenGold #DoesTheDoorSpeakGoblin

Players: *rolling 18-20 in perception* Me: *telling them they appear to sense nothing* Players: *steal thing and using Pass Without a Trace* Me: *smiling as they traverse an empty dungeon* #dnd5e #ttrpg #CakeWalksAreTheMostDeadly

Shitty D&D idea Paladin Oath of Tomfoolery “I will only make the worst possible decisions with the best possible outcomes.” “I will slay those who can’t take a joke.” “I will not ever roll investigation.” “Life is a joke, so let’s have fun.” #dnd #ttrpg #TerribleDndIdeas

Shitty D&D character idea A warlock who actually thinks they are a Paladin. - Follows the ‘oath’ of their patron. - Thinks their Eldritch Blasts are actually Divine Smites. - ‘Gifted’ a weapon for being the chosen one. - Trusts divine beings #dnd #ttrpg #ShittyDndIdeas

Terrible D&D character ideas: A ranger whose favored terrain is taverns. A drow elf who thinks they are a vampire because the light bothers them. A kenku rogue who eventually multiclasses to wizard after stealing enough spell books. #dnd5e #ttrpg #TerribleDndAdvice

Cure wounds? Oh, you mean Healy Feely Touch and Sealy? #dnd5e #ttrpg #DoYouNotNicknameSpells

In order to conserve a spell slot, my players proceeded to burn through 10+ spells, 2 wildshapes, 2 once per day items, and a rare potion while suffering a point of exhaustion, getting the cops called on them, and aggroing the entire dungeon. #dnd5e #ttrpg #TheMightyClintons

Shitty dnd character idea Loxodon rogue played like a mobster. Starts out as a joke character until it’s revealed his crew was slaughtered by a rival gang. He multiclasses to Paladin of vengeance because “an elephant never forgets... or forgives” #dnd5e #ttrpg #ShittyDndIdeas

Yeah, having deep character arcs with character development and emotional conclusions is great. But have you ever had to tell your rogue to stop pissing on every corpse he sees so we can get through this session? #dnd5e #ttrpg #TheMightyClintons

Dnd is just an office meeting: - Group discussions on how to solve problems - None of the plans actually work - Constant off topic conversations - Note taker doesn’t know they are the note taker - One person suggests war crimes #Dnd #dnd5e #IForgotIHadATwitter #ttrpg

Falling prone for a regular player: Pffft, nothing 15ft of movement can’t solve! Falling prone for a New England player: *flashbacks to all the icy sidewalks and stairs* *nervously sips Dunkin’s Iced Coffee* #dnd #dnd5e #ttrpg #NewEnglandDnd #SidewalksSlipperyKid #SilentRs