i was tryna figure out who was missing and realized scooby isn’t real

Me liking a cute animal tweet, finding out it's AI 3 days later and taking my like back

someone said HOA killed the garage band generation

Butt naked queuing up 15 songs for my 7 min shower

April fools doesn’t hit the same living in a misinformation epidemic

college is cool because you get to pick what time your classes are and then still not go

Part of having a big vocabulary is using words you don’t exactly know the definition of but for some reason you know you’re using it right

when bruno mars responded to a fan’s story

When the plane is about to take off and you hear the guy next to you say he invented a car that runs on water instead of gas.

12 pack of sprite is 13 dollars lmaoo this whole planet is blowing up soon

drinking something and accidentally spilling a little on yourself is so humiliating. i feel like an idiot baby who just tried using their mouth for the first time ever

this is my version of an egot

eu amo limpar a casa, mas com 3 condições: começar quando eu quiser levando quanto tempo eu precisar sem pessoas em casa

Soft launching that I want to get off the phone by saying “Alright well…”

“vou me recompensar” como se em algum momento eu me privasse de algo ou dissesse não pra mim mesmo

If I'm already so nostalgic at 23 what will I do when I'm 70

queria ter nascido herdeira, pra juntar minhas duas paixões: não fazer nada e gastar dinheiro

Idk how people drop their life savings on gambling I feel suicidal when I spent $20 on DoorDash and the food ends up being mid