Sometimes I forget how lucky I’ve been to never had to work a job that requires me to wear a uniform. Especially Khakis #fuckkhakis

Who do the Boomers think are going to change their diapers and feed them their grits when they get to that age? Should millennials still respect their elders when they never respected us? Have fun shitting all over yourself old man. #okboomer

I’m a full grown man who can still relate to Jagged Little Pill

#IMustBeOldBecause I remember when twitter started.

If you’re sensitive and you know it clap your hands! *all of Twitter* CLAP CLAP #sensitive

I don’t care what anyone says, hitting up cool little coffee shops is just plain nice. #10fuckingdollarsforasandwich #areyoucrazy

How do I get one of those online entourages that do nothing but champion my decisions and opinions even if I’m being entitled or unreasonable?!

I hate how much I love the guitar tone in “Moves like Jagger”

How do you ask something for a friend without everyone thinking you’re just asking for yourself? Asking for a friend.

The only thing I’ve learned this weekend is that Andy Ritchie 🍁 can’t handle the farming game #soulcrushing

Trying to hide your N on your car in BC is the Alberta equivalent of having a jacked up pick up truck. Everybody is aware of the complex you’re struggling with. #microscope

Imagine living in 2020 and still commenting “fake news” on every article you disagree with.

Does wearing masks mean that you only do half your face in make up?

The only thing I’ve learned from the #WAPChallenge is that more of you than I realized can kick incredibly high and that I am terribly inflexible.

When The Offspring sang “you know it feels like shit, god damn” I really felt that.

If I have to have one more elevator ride with someone who says “whole new world eh?” I swear I’m going to start singing Aladdin at them. #awholenewworld #shiningshimmeringsplendid

I hate how many TikTok songs get stuck in my head. #thesesongsareforchildren

I love how all these TikTok / Instagram dancers always look so surprised by the extremely choreographed dance moves their bodies are doing.

My friend turdbird is so complex

Hey. Now say it back.