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Never understood the phrase “stiff upper lip”… when I’m crying the lower lip is the quiver-y one. Upper lip stays pretty stiff Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend #jmoe

I nominate Alison Rosen for The Bad Dates Show @thebaddatesshow @ColonelJeffFox, I think the Alison ppl could guess the story of choice… It would be SUPREME(acist)!

You take editing out of the Oscars and this is what happens

Must be nice to have control over who’s inside you

Like or retweet if you’re on prescription medications or have played video games or don’t believe in God, and yet have somehow managed not to shoot anyone.

Dear Delta, I just assisted in a medical emergency in the air. Your medical kits need a glucometer, epi pen, and automatic blood pressure cuffs- it’s impossible to hear with a disposable stethoscope in the air. Please improve this for passenger safety!

So, to sum up the Supreme Court’s week: life begins at conception and ends in a mass shooting.

Has anyone told greg h. yet that this dude looks like him?

If we simply required gun owners to carry liability insurance, the insurance industry would destroy the gun industry

👋🏾 I’m Marcus Flowers, the Army Vet & Democratic Nominee running to unseat Marjorie Taylor Greene. MTG has 1M followers. Can you help us get to 450k with a RT and FOLLOW?

As I stroll on TikTok, I keep seeing parents video their children reacting to The Little Mermaid trailer. So instead of focusing so much on the negative, I thought I’d show a thread of the little black kids who are excited to see their favorite princess look like them.

black mermaids? what's next, black PEOPLE?!

The guy who named his kid X Æ A-Xii is making fun of pronouns.

What #WhiteLotus did was against the law. It’s illegal

A good #JMOE I do this too!! Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend Alison Rosen

#YesPlease or #OhPuhLease Macarons Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Charity: Here sweeties poke these balloons with my magic wand 🪄 💥POP POP POP💥 Marcus hits the ground and tells Jenn to check her six #WYATR Arden Myrin @sellinghossnieh