Mental health is in perfect condition and all it took was cooking food for my friends

Labubu sounds like the cute way to refer to a lobotomy

I wonder if my neighbors think I’m a very particular kind of pervert because of the hundreds of times “ohhh, banana!!” has blasted from my TV

Finally have to replace the 10 lb tub of sriracha 😔

It’s always “let’s grab a beer” and never “let’s try to do a Ninja Warrior course”

"One more before you go" never seems to be just one, does it?

To this day, any time Coheed & Cambria puts out a pop song, it slaps my ass off and I have to remind myself that the songs are actually about some esoteric sci-fi war criminals or something, and not about making out

Oh my GOD, I only have one episode of Fullmetal left?!?!

Hello, my name is Zachary and I like to overshare on the internet! #meettheartist2025

I feel insane🫠

What if instead of cleaning my apartment… I learned how to do some more sewing projects?

Sewing is actually the coolest thing I’ve ever learned

I was messaging someone about buying the sewing machine I want for cheap from them, offering to cross STATE lines, and a listing for the same sewing machine just got listed for $100 cheaper a 9 minute drive from me. GOD IS GOOD AND WANTS ME TO HEM!!

Have I really lived if I’ve never had a Chilli’s triple dipper

I am stronger than a marine right now for not treating my twitter like a livejournal