‘but lions eat meat’ they also throw their brothers to die in a wildebeest stampede in the first act and I’d like to think we’re better than that too

they’re teeth hope that helps x

idc how it helps your engagement but this new trend of Instagram creators saying ‘comment and I’ll DM you the recipe’ just gives me MLM trap vibes and I don’t recommend we keep it up

new content aesthetic: me checking accounts that comment homophobic shit at me to see if their profile mentions jesus (the prophet who famously did not say ‘spend time spreading hatred in my name’)

dudes will be like ‘how do I respect pronouns? too woke for me’ then turn around and announce they now deem the word seed oil a slur

the hardest part about being vegan is waking up at 5am to milk that one joke about having to milk almonds

so many fights could be avoided if one simply asked themselves am I angry or do I just need to take a mean poo

make it make sense please

‘how do you hit your macros?’ nah bro macros are so 2000’s we’re doing micros now and you don’t look like you’re getting enough microplastics in

bro forgot that caring about other beings isn’t just a Disney plot device

me: I made vegan beef out of seitan
them: you can’t call it beef idiot vegan
me: *holding a wafer* what’s this then
them: that is the body of Jesus Christ

vegans: can you leave off the cheese
everybody: extremist 😡
Italians: I’ll end ur bloodline if you ever use a different amount of garlic to me
everybody: what a beautiful culture ☺️

me when I see eggs

oh you’re a Joaquin Phoenix fan? what’s your favourite part of earthlings

pls someone help me make a monthly budget as a vegan, my family is starving

mortgage $2200
food $400
bills $400
novelty bumper stickers that link to brutal animal rights documentaries $6k
health insurance $180

proudly supporting local farmers (somewhere) Elwood's Organic Dog Meat 🥩

local? more like low cal ethical meat finally amirite 😍🐶🥩

vegan menus be like what if we wrote the word chicken but like how a French exchange student would butcher it so they know it’s vegan

Buffalo CHYYQU’UWEHN Burger $18