comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile
comedy + tragedy = time

@yousavedscience

quote bot for the portal franchise (including aperture desk job) 📻☢️ tweets every 3 hours (made with @GimmickBots)

ID: 1692905073746292736

calendar_today19-08-2023 14:23:29

3,3K Tweet

405 Takipçi

0 Takip Edilen

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

It doesn't seem like prison's changed you. That's really nice. That's one thing I really like about you. You don't let prison break you down.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, VERY, long time. If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

So, you did a great job pressing those buttons before, but we're done pressing those now. Forget about those buttons. We're pressing this better button now. The one lighting up.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The more I look at that tattoo, the more I'm thinking we should both have it, because then we'd be tattoo bros. Anybody would be able to look at us and know we're friends.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Rituals. Astronauts, war heroes, olympians: you're here because of an ancient mating ritual etched in a monolith by the Elder Monks to forestall the end of days.

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?

comedy + tragedy = time (@yousavedscience) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.