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This time yesterday I was at Club 33, and now I have to go back to Ohio? 🙄

My latest work day distraction/obsession is watching the cat across the street do neighborhood patrol from the fire escape.

Taking a drunk shower after the bar season is upon us. Be careful out there, it’s slippery.

Beyond ready for this to show up at my door!

Getting so irrationally jealous in your dream you force yourself awake? 13/10 do not recommend.

They shot, they missed. Next.

Bye hair 👋🏼

These people act in nothing but bad faith. Their only interest is in failure and their constant purity tests are also in bad faith. Nothing is good enough or will ever be because they don't want there to be. 🚮

Gym ✔️ work ✔️ now time to head to the lake for the weekend. 🙂‍↕️

Me: I love being at the lake and on a boat My lower back at almost 36: bitch what the fuck?!?!

If I see one more “Subway sandwiches are $6.99” ads…girl they used to be $5.00 seven days a week.

My lower back really hates me today from going from deadlifts into hip thrusts. Anyone got a spare AARP card?

Company sent out the annual employee engagement survey AFTER forcing us back into the office. Oof those numbers are going to plummet from last year 🤭🤭.

Apple Music Most Played 2024: Ariana SNL monologue

A video editor hates to see her coming.

Yadda yadda blue sky. (Much easier to follow you there if you post the actual link) bsky.app/profile/youkno…

So it’s the grand royal Dan vs Bobby show down.

Apparently, if you’re hanging out alone at a bar talking to bartender friends, someone will just buy and transfer a ticket to Cowboy Carter tour for you lol

There’s just something about CrossFit guys…they either look like they’re boarding a flight to Turkey or just getting back.