Heading up north and there's Kris Lindahl signs everywhere, and my wife is making me listen to the new Taylor Swift album. Only explanation is I died in my sleep and went to hell.

Remedied the situation

5-1 baybeeeeeeee!!!

RIP Putin

And you people came for me when I said I didn't want him back

Damn Joe Da Bundy, you a basic ass bitch

The first 10 years of The Simpsons was literally the greatest thing on TV, and nobody can tell me otherwise

"I need you to take these bags off leaves so my yard can be absolutely spotless!" Whatever, Rain Man. That'll be $50.

I'm starting to think Addison flying down the freeway at 140 mph wasn't because of his dog

So there I am, in LA, with Jordan Addison at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head around the door and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of

Last regular game of the season and my boy is team captain 🥲

Lost on a bush league trick play

The lion does not concern himself with the bank account when a sweet treat calls his name.

I had Jersey Mike's for the very first time today, and let me tell you, Pat Beers does not undersell it.

When the Yankees lose, America wins

What if we kissed at puck drop during the #mnwild game tonight Hahaha jk Unless.....

It's 2025, and iPhone people are still telling me to get an iPhone without being able to give me a good reason to do so.

Educate yourself, bozo