“i realized ive been waiting for someone to come save me my entire life but there is no one coming in fact i have saved myself over and over and it’s sad because i am alone but empowering because i am alone”
- my response to someone asking me how are you at a cafe this morning

why taxes

i love pilates cuz every once in a while a dude bro will show up thinking it’s gonna be light stretching and then get their ass kicked so hard they can barely walk out of there. so idgaf this tweet is sending men to our pilates classes cuz they won’t be back lol

man on man crime

guys who say “Guys who say “my beautiful wife” Never have a beautiful wife. Lesson in there”

never have a wife

lesson in there

Me: powder highlighter is coming back. But people aren’t applying it the way they did in 2016

my friend who I have always thought of as a “more real” person than me: Okay

doctors entrance

god the food you put in grocery stores for $67 in 2021 is now costing $108

crackin jokes post haste after losing 200 followers from a thirst trap

i just walked by one of those kratom bar places and you’re not going to believe this but the kratom bar people are loving the eclipse

he’s literally doing the meme

Divers have recovered the body of another construction worker.

His name was Maynor Suazo Sandoval. The family rose from poverty because of him, his cousin Hector said. He was a pillar of the family and always full of joy.

For The Baltimore Banner:
thebaltimorebanner.com/community/body…

tattoo inspo ♥️♥️