The ability to text on a T9 keyboard without looking. Where my chubies at?

Easily the funniest movie concept since the original Sharknado

My brother, eating platters full of high-cholesterol brownish garbage is our national pastime. We can comprehend British food very well, we just choose not to.

Go on...

"One of the most egregious acts of misconduct in the history of the CIA" is one of those phrases that gets more and more astounding the more you think about it

Mo' baby oil, mo' problems

I'm still angry that Air Bud wasn't directed by a dog

i straight up DO NOT care about “illegal” immigration and it’s weird that people do.

let this Mark Robinson story be a cautionary tale about freedom of speech. you, too, could be unjustly canceled in the prime of your life just for some youthful posts about [scrolls] oh, uh, well [scrolls faster] oh god [frantically tapping Page Down] what the fuck, man

in many ways mark robinson is the most american politician of them all. a stone cold pervert with zero social awareness and an enormously undeserved ego. extremely racist in ways that don't even make sense. addicted to hardcore pornography. like it or not, he is our avatar

Cool, cool, very cool

BREAKING Matt Gaetz attended a drug-fueled sex party in 2017 with the 17-year-old girl at the center of the alleged sex trafficking scandal, according to legal documents filed to a Florida federal court shortly before midnight Thursday, The documents cite sealed affidavits

this sums up conservative christianity perfectly

Who had the funniest sex scandal this week?

Slimey is a symbol of the degradation of the archetypal hierarchy. Making this insignificant creature an object of affection promotes the postmodern idea that there’s no objective hierarchy of competence or value, which is deeply corrosive to the very structure of Western society