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Government needs to support the universities. Both of them.

If no one knows what you're doing, then no one knows what you're doing wrong.

Well, almost all government policy is wrong, but… frightfully well carried out

The job of a well conducted internal enquiry is to unearth a great mass of no evidence. If you say there was no intention, you can be proved wrong. But if you say the enquiry found no evidence of intention, you can't be proved wrong!

The typical Common Market official is said to have the organizing capacity of the Italians, the flexibility of the Germans and the modesty of the French. He tops all that up with the imagination of the Belgians, the generosity of the Dutch, and the intelligence of the Irish.

What if he demands options? Well, it's obvious, Bernard. The Foreign Office will happily present him with three options, two of which are, on close inspection, exactly the same. (Plus a third which is totally unacceptable).

In industry, if you screw things up you get the boot. In the civil service, if you screw things up, the Minister gets the boot.

Why bother a Minister’s head with things he doesn’t know about?

No, no, Minister! Corruption could never be government policy. That is unthinkable! Only government practice.

The Prime Minister holds power. Ministers have responsibility. Fortunately, the civil service retains control.

If the Treasury knows that something has to be done, the Cabinet shouldn't have too much time to think about it. It's known as Treasury Policy.

Three articles of Civil Service: it takes longer to do things quickly; it is more expensive to do them cheaply; it is more democratic to do them in secret.

Parents have no qualifications to make these choices. I mean teachers are professionals. Parents are the worst people to bring up children! They've no qualifications, no training. You don't expect untrained teachers to teach. The same should apply to parents.

Gratitude is merely a lively expectation of favours to come.

Well, I wouldn't call civil service delays tactics, Minister. That would be to mistake lethargy for strategy.

Yes, it was our policy not to have a policy.

Oh yes. Well, surely our case is intelligible to anyone with the intellectual calibre of Winnie-the-Pooh

Yes Minister on bringing back national service

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Yes, Prime Minister. 🇬🇧 🗳️