Her: “go lock the door” Me:

i let my nuts hang

ww3 or dinner with jay z

“I’m really looking forward to our date tonight babe,” I said to myself in the mirror before crying over a Big Mac meal in the McDonald’s parking lot

her friends: how big is it my girl:

you in her dms I’m also in her dms we are the same

she march madness on my bracket til it bust

“I know it smell crazy in there”

she getting me drunk to get some 🍆 but jokes on her I’m about to add 50 unnecessary items to my Amazon cart 😭

it’s kids from my high school still acting like this

no hoes arc

you’re 35 bro ain’t no april fools

everything reminds me of her

she’s a 10 but I’m a 3 what do I do

blunt trauma? it’s okay bro I can finish it myself

Just popped a mucinex (I’m single btw)

me after 1 week with a common cold

munch son or thot daughter

5 years ago today, XXXTENTACION released his album “?”

New Music Dropping At Midnight: Drake - Search & Rescue Rae Sremmurd - Sremm 4 Life (Album) Joey Bada$$ - FALLIN’ Lil Yachty - Strike (Holster) Daniel Caesar - Never Enough (Album) Aminé & Kaytranada - 4EVA ft. Pharrell redveil & JPEGMAFIA - black enuff (Out)