David Jewcovney (@yahkay1988) 's Twitter Profile
David Jewcovney

@yahkay1988

kicking ass and eating cheese

ID: 143747851

linkhttps://linktr.ee/jakebreslauercomedy calendar_today14-05-2010 08:43:59

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David Jewcovney (@yahkay1988) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Packing for vacation 24- 2 shirts and a pair of jeans will be fine for the next week. 34- God I hope I packed enough Lactaid.

David Jewcovney (@yahkay1988) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Woman after my show: I can’t believe you’re 34, you look so young, what’s your secret? Me: The hat hides my hairline. Bald guy behind me: Right on brother.

David Jewcovney (@yahkay1988) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My 21 year old co-worker just called Men In Black a classic movie so I’ll be taking my AARP card now thank you very much.

David Jewcovney (@yahkay1988) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Me: (Turns on fan) Brain: Put your finger in it. Me: That seems like a bad idea. Brain: What about your dick? Dick: WE GET TO GO INTO SOMETHING?! Me: Ok everyone calm the fuck down.

David Jewcovney (@yahkay1988) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Me: Have you heard of this Matt Rife guy? Girlfriend: Ooh the handsome comedian with a chiseled jaw? Can we get tickets?! Me: No.

David Jewcovney (@yahkay1988) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Lyft Driver: How’s your night? Me: (Trying to act sober) Great! Your car smells fantastic! Lyft Driver: (turns his music up)