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Why do these sound like quotes from The Onion's American Voices? x.com/UrsulaPerano/s…

Blidaho Baby!

Did…did you just wake up from a 30 year coma?

The term "wet signed" is unnerving. What, was Moist John Hancock already taken?

Hilarious that Wyoming passed a constitutional amendment in 2012 because of fear of Obamacare death panels (freedom to make your own health care decisions) and those death panels never materialized, but now the amendment is blocking Wyoming's restrictive abortion laws.

This is definitely the plot of a robot apocalypse flick, where it turns out that the AI have predicted that the only person who can stop them is someone named David Mayer, who it turns out is an awkward teenager in a suburban Michigan high school.

This (& the replies) are a funny example of a well intentioned attempt to make standard service level numbers more accessible backfiring. No one blinks at 99.97% availability guarantees, but go crazy at 15 min/mo max downtime, but they're the same thing. x.com/isamlambert/st…

Taxes are too low

Is you filing government tax forms for a criminal fucking conspiracy?

fyi MapQuest is NOT renaming the Gulf of Mexico — not because of politics but because we haven’t updated our maps in like 15 years and don’t remember how to do it

Weird fact: Minnesota has elected NINE consecutive women to Lieutenant Governor (and hasn't elected a man in 45 years), but still has never elected a woman governor.

Tonight Sean Baker won four Oscar’s. The only other person to ever achieve that feat in one night is WALT DISNEY.

The fact that Moshe has the most blue state vs red state discrepancy of Male baby names is a perfect example of the limits of red state vs blue state comparisons, and a textbook example of the ecological fallacy. Most Baby Moshe parents are Trump voters. x.com/owenbroadcast/…

Uh Subaru you should probably get that treated.

This was such an awkward moment.

ok which two of you bitches did this

LETS GOOOOOOOO #knicks

Celtics this series: