Know what’s great? When friends and family join one of those weight programs and forget that we don’t really give a damn about the strangers they post that lost weight on their program.

Jesus was the first socialist, the first to seek a better life for mankind. -Mikhail Gorbachev

Me to client: Forgiveness means you don’t have to pay the debt. So if you are forgiven, why do you keep trying to pay the debt?

If I actually had a meal with everyone who says they want to meet up for lunch, I’d never need another lunch date.

Are subtweets that are reposted years later still subtweets?

My age is directly related to how much time I can spend around a group of toddlers. The older I am, the less time I can spend.

You never know how you really feel about things until they actually happen. Sometimes your feelings can surprise you.

The edges are not as sharp. The emotions are not so jumbled.

Is it weird to have your date fill out an Adverse Childhood Experiences assessment? Asking for a friend.

I told my daughter I did a background check on the guy I’m meeting and she thought that was ridiculous. Obviously, I need to teach her a thing or two.

I’m dating someone who has a flip phone. We are unequally yolked.

I started out as the Bible character Jael whose Hebrew spelling is Yael. It quickly became more of my own platform to discuss my ever changing and growing views. I still love Yael and appreciate how we matured together.

Don’t tell us you are deleting it and then not put it on here. The post should read, I’m deleting this <screenshot> tweet. Thank you very much!

Guys on dating apps be playing wrong answers only.

I rarely miss being Yael but sometimes I miss the witty banter we had when this was Twitter and it was fun.

#NewProfilePic