Chris Rock after being slapped at the Oscars 😭🤦🏾‍♂️

yup fuck it, im paying for piano lessons

me in the cinema at midnight solo watching doctor strange realising it has some big jump scares and is low-key a horror

i will never post a serious be real

i’m disliked for good reason tbh

yeah they firing my ass

my new favourite thing is sitting on a park bench and trying to work out context for passing conversations

i could have an auto reply telling people i’m dead and people will still double email pure madness

ceo of finishing popcorn in adverts

i stick my arm out in the car once and now they don’t match

elite

there is no way the stance of the prime minister is “im on the side of people who work hard” when questioned about energy prices. what is this life honestly

In London 80% of bank notes already have Charlie on them.

You can imagine your whole life with someone and feel secure only for it to one day just vanish This world is horrid

feel like ive got at least one hand back on the steering wheel rather than jesus take the wheel recently

BBCs coverage on Palestine and Israel just goes to show how biased they are towards the conflict.

Oh and fuck Keir Starmer

Cry more