idk what carbon dating is but nothing else is working and i have nothing to lose

latinas are like an edible, at first they cool then they hit you

i love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand

being educated is the biggest flex you can have

every friend group has the “pickle friend” that’s the friend u give your pickle to

making out and dry humping is a lost art tbh

y’all ever laughed during a test bc you ain’t know what was going on 😭

I do not understand billionaires. like wtf else could you mfs possibly want

mf drinking venom

this is honestly so embarassing

you're asking if people are in their 20s

"There's plenty of fish in the sea" Me:

mfs in the past was just doing ANYTHING I was definitely born in the right generation

$51,000? A YEAR?! and I'm out doing this for FREE?!

no one who ACTUALLY drinks water prefers cold

the paramedics hands clasped in prayer and disbelief

who TF is keeping Dr. Pepper in business

once you stop posting on instagram there's no going back

when I'm drunk but my friend is drunker

idk why but triangle sandwiches hit different