When you nervously check your bank balance after a heavy weekend and there's still money in your account

Keita has sent flowers to the families of the two Bournemouth players he nutmegged in the space of 1.3 seconds. Class act.

Chelsea vs Manchester City must feel so strange for city fans. Watching your old club playing your new one.

Pass me the cheese 🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭

"Swear Liverpool won the league Judging from my TL" Nah chief. If liverpool won the league I wouldn't be tweeting about it. I'd be swimming in a pool of Evertonian tears, 56 room temperature carlings deep.

Who do I share my food with? x.com/Andy_Rxbertson…

If you truly believe Liverpool are the "media darlings", then you're a straight up crack head. Turn yourself into the police and get some help.

Of course I'd answer. But how would Robbie Fowler get my number?

When is Debryxne tweeting about Liverpool? x.com/AmoNickk/statu…

I am really tired of superfans not letting others have an opinion. If people are worried about midfield IT IS OKAY. It doesn’t make them less a supporter. Just like you can pretend to not be worried. Opinions are okay. No need to tell people what is right or wrong.

On my third nappy and the game hasn't even started.

Last 16

Mum: shit my waters Just broke. Dad: you can do it. Just push Me: x.com/TeezyAinttShit…

Top, top film

The same people that were defending Mee's tackle on Gomez are now saying this should be a red. Anti Liverpool agenda is rife.

Alisson: • Highest save percentage in the PL • Most clean sheets in the PL • No. 1 for Brazil • Won best keeper in Serie A (17/18) • Hailed as one of the best in the world by Buffon But Gary the milkman from Salford thinks he's "overrated" Gaz 1 -0 football

Had a go at a concept kit by Nike.

Every time I hear a Christmas song my fist tingles

Mourinho out Solskjaer in. Pass me a room tempreture carling. What a fucking time to be alive x.com/nicolatyas/sta…