It seems wrong somehow that I've never seen a vibrator that runs on D batteries.

MINNEAPOLIS/ST. PAUL! After a decade-long absence, I will finally be returning to MarsCon, along with Devo Spice, Steve Goodie, Nuclear Bubble Wrap, the great Luke Ski, Insane Ian, and *deep breath* 2025 guest of honor KING MISSILE. This is going to be so freakin' awesome.

First practice in months....not fucking bad! Coming for Minneapolis in March! marsconcomedy.wordpress.com

WAP

Joining That Junkman on a live thingy tonight! Starts at 8 EST! I'm showing up around 9! I don't own that mask anymore and I haven't unpacked the cape and I weigh over 120 pounds less than I did in this picture, so EVERYONE WILL BE DISAPPOINTED! YAAAAY! youtube.com/watch?v=j5x2Ln…

The current state of AI is basically the Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser from the Hitchhiker's Guide. Change my mind.

I've had nothing bad to say about Avelo Airlines until this shit. Won't get my business again until they reverse course on this. Sign the petition: chng.it/jDwQGh5hrQ

My belated "Farewell To Rochester" show is August 1st at the California Brew Haus! With Emcee M.D., Devo Spice, Motiks, and Small Signals! Hosted by Likewize! Come out and make me feel bad for leaving!

New Worm Quartet single "I Was in the Weird Al Pit at Riot Fest." Based on a true story. wormquartet.bandcamp.com/track/i-was-in…

Hi! My new punk band Dead Rat Disco is playing a free show THIS FRIDAY (Halloween!) at New York Pizza in Greensboro, NC with Dit and Milk Truck! Come out! Dress like something! Throw candy corn at us! P.S. Oh yeah I'm in a punk band now. Sorry, I don't post here often.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Yes, I've seen it. ALMOST a perfect score? Missed a handful of the 1600-point ghosts. To be fair, this is a LOT easier than the arcade game.

THIS SATURDAY! Come see my new band Dead Rat Disco with Crashout and Jack Chick Army at Slim's in Raleigh, NC!

Greensboro Halloween show was incredibly fun. Thanks to the legendary New York Pizza for hosting, thanks to DIT and Milk Truck for inviting us and putting on awesome sets, thanks to Aaron S. for the extra equipment, and thanks to everyone who showed up! We'll be back!

TOMORROW! RALEIGH! FIVE BUCKS! NOISE AT NINE!

ME: *Grabs a few sheets of toilet paper from the roll* GOOGLE GEMINI: Hi, would you like to try new AI wiping? ME: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

CHAPEL HILL! This Saturday! 9PM! $10 suggested donation! Tell your hoodlum friends!

Finally the rest of you can see what I always see when I glance skyward - the blessed giant open-mouthed golden orb of hunger, consumer of the azure dead - hovering over us, ever-moving yet ever-mazebound. Happy Thanksgiving.

Ooo! What's this? Added two bundles to the Worm Quartet Bandcamp merch page for Black Friday! Get either ALL of my available CDs -or- my two vinyl records along with a shirt, poncho, stickers, and a keychain for 40 smackers! wormquartet.bandcamp.com/merch

Last day for this! Get a bundle with all the available Worm Quartet vinyl or CDs along with a shirt, keychain, poncho, and stickers for 40 bucks!! wormquartet.bandcamp.com