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Watched the movie two lovers. They should call that movie boo fucking hoo I get pussy

“Guttenhog” as a term for saying good morning to your penis

Vaporwave is ten years old

Taking a piss on mushrooms is nirvana

I would do anything to not do anything

Human Centipede buts it’s just me eating centipedes for two hours

I’m the captain now, dog

For about five years of my childhood my friend Jon would call me on the phone after school and ask “wanna play guns” and I would say “yes” and run to his house

Jack Torrence is so bad at killing his family

Hell yes

I still login to Tiny Mix Tapes and makes edits on my old posts because I’m a PSYCHOPATH

Euro step the timeline bro

Going to Merle Hay Mall with my infant son in matching “I don’t play well with others…” t-shirts and Jack Skellington snapbacks, and shouting to all the other parents we walk past that “god cursed me with a twin haha. Looks like I’ll do what my dad never did and raise me haha”

Showing up to court in these shorts and a plain white tall tee with the neck stretched out and asking the judge “when are you gonna fucking relax a bit, man?” after everything he says

I want to start wearing a wedding ring and when people ask about it be like “oh you wouldn’t know her, she goes to a different school”

Life is simple. Listen to GOLDBLUMS, cook, clean, trim your nails, etc

Back in my day Thaiboy Digital wasn’t a musician, it was a website you had to use a VPN to get on

Making music and sharing it is great cuz no one listens to it and then they also message you like “hey bro I’m playing a show 700 miles away from you. Would be sick if you could make it”