My ego recently has been so fucking big. Which could be a flaw. But I don’t really have those

Just threw a football in a perfect spiral back to some men in the park

I fucking love getting what I want. Absolutely addicted to it

I can’t believe straight men don’t relate to me…all I do all day long is ask beautiful women if they want to watch basketball, refuse to really feel my feelings, and call my friends f*ggots. In some of ur circles I would be a god

I guess the all white comedy shows, TV shows, and movies are just back with a damn vengeance. They really were like “ok I think the coast is clear let’s go”
👱🏻‍♂️👩🏻‍🦳🧑🏻‍🦳👱🏻👱🏻‍♀️👱🏻‍♀️👱🏻‍♂️👱🏻‍♂️👱🏻👱🏻👱🏻‍♀️👱🏻‍♀️👱🏻

I make really good soup, that’s that me Progresso

Boss wants me to come in on a Friday. Even if that were legal I wouldn’t do it

For my next trick, I will be vulnerable in a relationship

The priest who did my conversion therapy just died at 73 of natural causes. Smh that’s what happens when ur a hater to the LGBTQ 😏

“you need to live in the moment!!!!” ok well this is a phone moment

I wish Ticketmaster wasn’t a corporation. Wish it was just some guy so when he charged me $100 in fees I could kill him

Watched a man at the game tonight stand up to applaud a shot and then a guy walked by us carrying all the used sweaty towels and he said “I need to get one of those”

men should be forced to disclose their stand up comedian status on dating apps

Sunday party season is back!!! We’re doing poppers in the sun on the dance floor at 4pm. Falling asleep smiling at 10. At work at 7am which is where the fun ends but still

I kept accidentally blowing out the lit candle at the dinner table due to my expressiveness, laughter, and joie de vivre

I’ve literally been talking about this on stage for years

I think most of my life has been leading up to having enough disposable income to be a wnba season ticket holder…😈😇