We’re back at it with another insanely stacked lineup for Cracked: LIVE!

Feat:
Casey Balsham
Usama Siddiquee
Leclerc Andre
Olivia Carter
Ontonio Kareem
Jamie Wolf
Hosted by: limp brittzkit

Tix: showclix.com/event/cracked-…

Hey man ur hairline is receding because u lie to women

my friend learned of OJ’s passing through me sending a copy pasta

i quoted pinky and the brain to my younger bf and he goes “is that from one of your old lady cartoons”

honestly what a time to be alive

i was lucky enough to be cast in the new margot robbie #monopoly movie!!!!! feeling so grateful and blessed, here’s my big scene 🙏 ty #hasbro

if this text wasn’t from my mother i would think it was a serial killer

Lunchables exec issues a statement

PHEW good thing i only ate these 2-3x per week for 10 years of my life anyways does anyone else hear god calling them home

your one friend who forgot to get #eclipse glasses

Wr figured out how much it would cost to feed all of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park... including this lil guy.
youtu.be/hXflJ8hZqOM?fe…

went to a nail salon i haven’t been to in a year and my old tech goes “how are you, how’s your husband?” and i had to be like “oh uh im divorced now” and the entire salon turns to look at me and one lady getting her toes done goes “im sorry that sucks”

*correcting the newscaster*

actually in new york we say 4.8 motherquake on the cunterscale

so, I did ultimately write over 5k words on what makes all 57 woman cast members on SNL hot without once mentioning their looks autostraddle.com/snl-every-woma…

my therapist is going on mat leave even though she knows i have abandonment issues =\

feel free to use