shoutout to the etsy witch

Yeah whatever bullshit you’re tweeting about at the moment it doesn’t matter listen to some Herbie Hancock that’s what the world needs

Jack antonoff and Kevin morby you are musicians I respect but your wives are simply too good for you

sending (evil) thoughts and prayers (of destruction)

what an interesting fantasy football transaction

mood

doing it on world suicide prevention day lowkey probably saved some lives

Charlie Kirk was “a generational leader” like Allonzo Trier was an “NBA star”

If we can really get woke concern trolling like “imagine what’s gonna happen to minorities now” just shows you have no level of awareness of the lives black and brown people already lead in America today.

a lot of you tweet as if you think you’re gonna be able to hold your phone up to the prison guard (at new labor camps within the american-palantir-israel purely white technocracy) & say, “hey look at this i was classy!” and they’re gonna give you special privileges for dickeating

btw he would have seen you as less human because you’re Jewish but get your tweets off

every college should spend $10k on a new most-peed-on outdoor structure and if you don’t you’re woke

used to be “we hate the tattletale Dems” a decade ago, their student council-ass personality and fetishization of decorum. now if you call him Charlie Merked seven men with Roth IRAs try to fax your tweet to God and get you barred from Shake Shack

I wrote about something very similar to this a few months ago

fumbling a baddie and then immediately getting better at scheduling regular therapy sessions are two events that you’d like to be coincidence but definitely aren’t