this is so fab i wish emma roberts was a good person

there is NO greater bitterness than realising you've brought a shit book to work. you get half an hour of your day to yourself and you spent it having to plough through that. makes you want to call for the death penalty for the author

One of the greatest joys of being a boyfriend is that you get to go on fetch quests. Yea, I CAN get that for you

Do you prefer Sufjan before or after being cursed by The Evil Witch?

i feel sick. what do you mean 2 years

havent watched a movie in 16 days

i rub my belly in a more profound and thought provoking way than any of you

this is what happens when i don't use twitter for 40 continuous minutes ONE TIME

hairbobble i've been using for a month straight has snapped. considering a military funeral

I used to be a cinephile but unfortunately employment has really put a damper on things.

holy fuck americans made their own cher lloyd

Onett, Twoson, Threed, and Fourside

edinburgh is like. what if you lived in the breaking bad house people kept throwing pizzas on top of except it was the entire city

my biggest moral failure is that i genuinely quite enjoy stomp clap wood panel edison lights microbrewery music. electroswing also

boggles the fucking mind how many middle aged straight guy customers will try and get me in on the whole "look at that WOMAN in her MAKEUP!! off to find my HORRIBLE SHOPPING WIFE" schtick when the whole time im standing there like this

phoebe waller-bridge and martin mcdonagh are having a child. in 20ish years the edinburgh fringe won't know what hit it