You gotta admire the commitment companies like Google and Apple have to making their user experience worse with every update. Pure power move.

Every concert now is like, “Third Eye Blind playing their ICONIC 4th studio album from 2009 in full!” Im sure some ppl enjoy that album, but what are we doing and why are you gaslighting us?

Celtics right now:

Ya know what, it was really late, I bet Biden crushes from like 5-6am after his grapefruit and defibrillator sesh.

I understand the news aspect of this, but would it kill the NYT to also express how Trump sounds like a raving fucking lunatic every time he talks?

2076 Time-Travel Dept’s like…”He shoulda been back by now…”

I’ve seen a lotta posts about JD Vance and it appears that Dems are once again putting our faith in hypocrisy to win over voters. Super.

Just to say: He didn’t get “shot in the head.” He didn’t “dodge” the bullet. He didn’t “survive an assassination attempt” through any of his own actions.

At the end of this routine my 8-year old said, “Imagine if the announcers go, ‘…Another classic from Raygun!’” Tears of parental pride. 😂

There’s a non-zero chance that Trump heard some kids say “Skibbity Ohio rizz” and picked JD Vance because of it. …I’m at a weird intersection of parenting and politics at this moment in my life…

Every third post in my feed is like, Blorp AI only dropped three days ago and it’s already creating some of the most realistic buttholes you’ve ever seen. 🧵”

We can never be 100% sure Banksy isn’t also spraying all those swastikas…

CASABLANCA: Will I see you tonight? I never make plans that far ahead. 20s Me: God thats such a cool line his life’s so exciting he never knows whats next! 40s Me: God thats such a great policy his life’s so busy he doesn’t want to make plans he’ll regret later when he’s tired!

This seems like a good example of Dems actually acknowledging the current political climate/realities and not just playing nice all the time. I have no idea if this action is good or bad but I like seeing Dems calling out the bullshit AND adjusting their tactics accordingly.

I deeply hate that all packs of collectible cards are now priced based on expected or possible value instead of a set price based on their manufacturing cost. #mtg #tcg #sportscards

This is the quid pro quo-iest shit I’ve ever seen:

People are setting Teslas on fire, but to be fair, Teslas were setting people on fire first…

MY WIFE: I think you have ADHD. ME: Eh, I don’t know, and I’ve been looking into it, off and on, for a while.

Me, strutting into Conclave shrouded in mystery: “Hey what’s up guys. Francis dapped me up before he died, so I’m here, but like, don’t even worry, I’m a fly on the wall, just really excited to watch the process…”

I finally got back to enjoying the Red Sox this season after they traded Betts, the team is rolling, and now they trade Devers. Unreal. #Devers #Redsox