Proprietor: "I happen to be the proprietor. Now, would you leave?"

Monty: "I'm preparing myself to forgive you. I think you've been punished enough. I think we better release you from the legume and transfer you talents to the meat."

I: "Mmm. As a matter of fact, got a saveloy."

I: "You bloody fool. He'll have us up in court again."

I: "Too like Donald Woolfe."

I: "I'm not from London, you know!"

I: "I can't, Withnail, I've got to walk to the station. I'll be late."

I: "You're forgetting about Jake."

Monty: "I'm afraid we must drink from these."

I: "No. I got a different one. They want me to play the lead."

Withnail: "You'll be pleased to hear Monty's invited us for drinks."

Withnail: "Ah, good. I'm glad you're the proprietor. I was going to have to have a word with you anyway. We're working on a film up here. Location, see. We might want to do a film in here."

I: "Aren't you getting absurdly high?"

I: "What do you mean?"

I: "Because I don't advise it. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that. That's worse than meths."

Monty: "Oh, of course you are. Cooking's one of the natural instincts."

Raymond: "Have you... Have you met Jake? Poacher. Works the lake but keep it under your hat, hmm?"

Withnail: "All right, this is the plan. We get in there and get wrecked. Then we'll eat a pork pie. Then we drop a couple of Surmontil 50s each; means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. What's that appalling smell?"

I: "What are you talking about?"

Danny: "That's what I thought. Except for personal use, I concur with you. As a matter of fact, I was thinking of retiring and going into business."